21 juni 2009

Children and manipulation- question and answer

Why is my daughter experiencing anger and crying attacks when I ask her simple things such as getting dressed in the morning or to put her coat on when we go outside?


Jozien - it's manipulation as an attempt to control her reality to establish her authority in her reality within the starting point of the definition of herself in giving herself the position of 'doing what she wants to do' and not what's being told or demanded of her to do - she's manifesting the polarity-opposite of how she's always experienced herself, see:

She's always 'been told or demanded' of 'what to do' and she complied - 'doing and existing as what has been told of her to do by/through another' - having no opportunity/ground within which she could establish her own natural self-expression here, and because of this - she's now manifested her 'perceived' self as 'who she is', by rebelling or manifesting herself as the opposite of what she's always done/been and experienced - going from compliance to demands to rebelling and 'doing what 'she' (of mind) wants to do'.

Therefore, she's become the 'control' that has been taught to her through 'demand of compliance' - and thus in turn 'demanding compliance of you/from you' according to 'what she wants' - to 'control' her reality and those in it.

Because within your approach as a 'mother' - a mother doesn't take the child into consideration, but handles the child as someone that needs to be taught and demanded of - to get them to comply to the rules of society according to how children should/must be - and this 'teaching' comes within the starting point within which you'd use any/all method to make sure the child does what you want them to do so that they can be how you want them to be - only taking yourself into consideration and not the child as you - so, see - she's doing exactly to you - what you did to her, only in a more extreme way so that you can see it within actual experience and at the same time, in this way - asking you to see 'her' - not as something you must mould/shape into you.

So, she's now trying/attempting to establish 'her own person'/being her own person - through control and manipulation - because that's all she's ever known - and she's seen the results in her own expression towards you - within your starting point of control/manipulation - and now she's doing the same with you - to get the same results as what she experienced = getting what she wants, as you got what you wanted through your expression towards her.

Jozien - do the attention-builder/word purifier with her - join her with that which she enjoys expressing herself within - playing with a ball, drawing, painting, dancing in the house with some music, reading with her/for her etc. - take a moment and 'spend time with her in that which she enjoys doing' - because that which she enjoys doing - within that and joining her unconditionally giving her the freedom to express in it - will assist and support in the development of her establishing her self-expression through and within something constructive/physical and not through the mind.

Then also - observe your starting point with her when asking something - are you demanding of her/doing it because 'she must' as within the starting point of control so that you can fulfill a defined construct within you as 'mother' where your child does what you demand/tell them to do from a controlling perspective - or are you asking her to do something from a perspective of common sense, taking her into consideration as you - for example: Zina - it's morning, to get the day started - must get dressed, unfortunately in this world - we can't walk around naked - come, get dressed with me - then get dressed with her, together. Be/become practical with her - walk with her as you.

Let me know if any further assistance required.


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